I Want Drew Barrymore To Play Me Today

I've seen Bridezillas. I know wedding has become synonymous with "HUGE production". I know the industry generates billions of dollars. But.

As I perused Hubby's Backstage (a weekly paper filled with auditions) last week, something in the "general" category caught my eye. It was an ad for a "Wedding Officiant/Minister: male or female, character actor with big, charming, outlandish personality, . . . .You will perform short, simple (five-min) improv routine that works with your character, eat lunch at the head table, mingle with guests, create funny situations, get people talking to each other and be slightly outrageous but not offensive."

Apparently, these people want to hire an actor to marry them, rather than run the risk of having a boring officiant. I wonder how this same couple will feel if all the guests show up in sweats or (probably even worse for them) don't dance. This makes me think they've seen one too many episodes of "My Super Sweet Sixteen" on MTV. Next thing you know they'll be hiring Saturday Night Live rejects as guests and "forgetting" to send an invite to boring Aunt Millie.

I've heard about brides who watch their wedding videos over and over. Maybe this IS the next logical step. If you're going to watch something over and over, it might as well be interesting. Of course, that's why there's an entertainment industry. I thought the wedding industry was for embellishing marriage ceremonies. Silly me.

Maybe actors could be hired to spice up all of life's experiences. Why not a dashing young doctor with just the right deep voice to perform your surgery? Or a former LA Law cast member to be your divorce lawyer? Or maybe we could hire actors to fill in for us (didn't Paris Hilton hire one of her own impersonators to fill in for her on The Simple Life once? Why do I know that?) when we don't feel like going to the DMV or getting up early.