If I were a Catholic in medieval times, or a tribeswoman of a pre-literate society, I'm pretty sure I would have the local shaman/priest over here performing an exorcism on Lovebug. The fact that I'm an overly literate Unitarian who's thinking about it anyway says volumes. Today, Lovebug screamed and fought so hard during his morning diaper change that he got poop everywhere. Then he threw a fit when his turn to brush his teeth was over (he had put his toothbrush away quite happily, but then he saw that Ironflower was having a turn). He threw a fit going down the stairs because I got too far ahead of him. He screamed and threw his orange juice away at breakfast, then got upset when he couldn't have it.
I know he's only seventeen months old. I know he's a boy. But I think this is ridiculous. His tantrums don't generally work - he still gets changed, his toothbrushing turn is still over - but they're just getting worse. His next fit was about not being able to fit into his toy truck. That one didn't work either. It's not that he gets frustrated a lot. It's not even that he yells a lot. It's that he howls louder over not getting his way than over a shot. If you overheard me changing him when he doesn't feel like it, you'd think I was stabbing him. Normal toddler frustrations elicit not whines and a yell or two, but full blown screaming fits that make me think of demons.
Lovebug is also the most wonderfully affectionate little boy. His smile lights up a room. He can play by himself or share with others with equal joy. He likes to try new foods. He loves to help. I love my son very much, but if he doesn't mellow out soon I'm going to invite the social worker over myself.
1 comment:
My younger daughter was like this. She still is, to some degree. She seems to get very quickly frustrated with things, and her mood goes from calm to meltdown very quickly (with mine following closely behind). I had done Parent Effectiveness Training earlier but found that wasn't at all effective for her. The first thing I read that ever made sense was a book called The Difficult Child by Stanley Turecki. I loved it straight away because, unlike PET, it was completely non-judgemental as far as the parents were concerned. Turecki is extremely sympathetic and validates all the feelings we have in response to our very difficult children and doesn't make you feel bad about it.
I just found a great overview of the book here: http://www.network54.com/Realm/Spirited_Kids/turecki.htm
The first thing you learn is to identify your child's personality type which explains why they behave the way they do. It is SO incredibly helpful to be able to understand their behaviour as a symptom of their personality type, I can't tell you how quickly this knowledge helps YOU to keep calm when your child is throwing a tantrum. I'm not kidding, it's magic.
Anyway, I can't recommend it highly enough for exhausted, frustrated, guilt-ridden, at their wits' end parents like us.
Sorry, I shouldn't be leaving such long messages on your comments! If you have any questions leave a message on my blog for me.
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