Someone said to me recently, "Well, I have a JOB."
This was in response to an attempt to make plans.
Of course I didn't respond the way I wanted, "You try to take care of Ironflower, Lovebug and Hot Guy while attempting to make money blogging and any other way that doesn't interfere with the children's outings, schedules and moods and that allows the house to be clean and organized enough to satisfy your Martha Stewart mother and THEN you can brag about your job."
The transition from working outside the home to working inside the home has been a challenge for me. I never thought I'd stay home. But around here, with the cost of quality daycare for toddlers, not to mention the years I'd have to sub just to get a classroom teaching job that I don't even want anymore, it makes sense for us. Most of the time I'm glad to spend enough time with my children so that they can drive me insane but I'm tired of being dismissed as lazy and/or stupid. I'm tired of friends and family members asking, "But what do you do all day?"
Look, I realize that I am lucky to be able to stay at home. But while I do take a break every day during nap time, I spend about twelve - fourteen hours everyday engaged in childcare, household or writing related activities. Lovebug is a very challenging child and his tantrums exhaust me to the point of tears at least twice a week. Ironflower needs constant stimulation. I've given up an extra hour of sleep so I can have time to exercise in the mornings.
When I was a teacher, I trained myself to let go of work issues on my drive home. I cherished my commute. Now there is no letting go. I keep a notebook by the bed so that when I wake up in the middle of the night with writing ideas and parenting strategies I can write them down. Even when Hot Guy or grandparents are watching the kids, I usually feel some sort of residual guilt and worry. I can't help it.
Not that this makes me different than any other mother out there, of course. But I'll be damned if I'm going to let one more person imply that his/her JOB is more important than all three of mine.
2 comments:
being a full time mom is a hell of a lot harder than working 40 hours a week. You cant call in sick when your not feeling like "working". Your "employees" (children)dont have any rules, how many bosses get spit up on at work. You don't get to clock out at 5 or ask to be transfered if u dont like your office. I know my self absorbed ass could never do it, Im in awe of ya cuz........
Blackshear - thank you! And you'd be surprised what you could do when you're paid in hugs.
Leslie - I am totally going to start answering that way. And telling people I can't make plans because Oprah or Guiding Light (is that still a soap?) is on.
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