I turned 36 yesterday. That's like being 18 - TWICE. Half a lifetime ago I was still able to vote. I was going to write that I don't feel 36 - until I realized that I don't know what 36 is supposed to feel like. I am wiser than I was at 18. And saggier too, of course.
Sometimes I imagine conversations with my 18 year old self. Mostly they involve me shaking her and saying, "Your body is great enough to wear a bikini, dammit! And yes, you can study abroad, dammit! And don't date anyone until you're 30!" But if I remember anything about myself at 18, I'm sure I wouldn't have listened. As for my 18 year old self, I can only imagine comments like, "How did we get so fat? Why didn't we go to law school? Our kids are SUPER-CUTE!"
Generally, I like being in my thirties. I don't need to be cool or hip anymore, but I can be if I want to. I know myself so well. I don't really care what other people think as much. And I now have a good excuse for dying my hair. But 36 feels like the first bell toll for forty. And I'm not sure how I'm going to feel about my forties.
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