Mommy the Maid

That's the title of some mom's blog, "Mommy the Maid." I've never read it and I don't know the writer, so I don't mention it to inspire anyone to read. I mention it because the title scares me. If I were my maid, I would fire me.

I know that keeping the house clean and the laundry done goes with the whole stay-at-home mommy territory, but it's just not my thing. I mean, the laundry's always done (and usually put away), the dishes are done, the toilets cleaned and the floor is swept. But that's about it. I don't dust very often and no one in their right mind would eat off of my floors. All the mirrors should be Windexed. There's a lot of clutter. And I don't think I've ever cleaned the windows.

I scrubbed out the refrigerator last week. I was very proud of this accomplishment until I saw that the milk had leaked. I bitched at Hot Guy about it and for some reason he took offense. All I could think was, "Oh my Goddess, I have to clean it again?" I like tasks that can be completed and set aside for a while. It's why I only do laundry two days a week and why toy pick up doesn't happen until right before bed. I get a certain satisfaction out of being DONE.

That's probably why I'm not good at those little lifestyle changes that make diets so successful. I've switched to olive oil spread and low fat mayonnaise and I can't understand why I haven't lost thirty pounds. But I digress. Maybe if I did all the maid type stuff I would lose thirty pounds, I don't know. In fact, I doubt I'll ever know - there's no way I'll ever be able to describe myself as "Mommy the Maid".