When I saw the True Colors tour the other night, something Rosie O'Donnell said made me think. She mentioned that one of Trump's insults for her was that he wasn't attracted to her and would never sleep with her. Apparently, this was supposed to hurt her feelings.
Because we all know how much lesbians are into having men find them sexually attractive.
I started to wonder, as a straight woman, would this "insult" work on me? As a teenager, it definitely would have. I wanted everyone to think I was pretty and back then I equated sexual attraction with prettiness. So at 15, hearing someone say that he didn't want me or find me attractive would have been devastating.
But I'm thirty-five now (well, for a couple more weeks) and while I find it flattering when someone finds me attractive, it doesn't make or break my self-esteem. I think Donald Trump is ugly, so therefore I care a lot less about what he thinks. But I've heard many men use their lack of sexual interest in a woman as an insult.
On the one hand it is a kind of insult: a horny, drunk man will sleep with a log if the holes are in the right places. But on the other hand it's kind of ridiculous. Attraction is only partially based on looks and it is quite possible to find someone attractive but not think s/he's good looking (and vice versa). For example, I appreciate that Brad Pitt is good looking. But I would rather sleep with Axl Rose - I have this weird attraction to him. So whether a particular man wants to sleep with you has little bearing on your overall attractiveness level.
But Trump and his ilk continue to see us all as insecure tenth graders, more worried about men's opinions than about our own thoughts and feelings. And what really hurts me is that there are a LOT of adult women just like that. How sad.
5 comments:
I can remember going through that phase as a teenager - where it was important to me that men found me attractive. Now, not so much. It didn't take long to realize that the people who liked me just for how I looked weren't the ones I really liked at the end of the day. Thank goodness I learned that early because now, I'm not exacty turning heads, but I've got a fabulous husband that's attracted to me no matter what I look like. That suits me pretty well.
well said! i can't agree more with you!
i haven't seen the true colours tour but when i first read it, i was thinking "what is the mental age of this guy? 10?" but hmm... sadly, lots of people share this pattern of thought.
Most men are liars. When we say I wouldn't sleep with her what we are really saying is I wouldn't tell any of my friends I slept with her.
well said! i can't agree more with you!
i haven't seen the true colours tour but when i first read it, i was thinking "what is the mental age of this guy? 10?" but hmm... sadly, lots of people share this pattern of thought.
I can remember going through that phase as a teenager - where it was important to me that men found me attractive. Now, not so much. It didn't take long to realize that the people who liked me just for how I looked weren't the ones I really liked at the end of the day. Thank goodness I learned that early because now, I'm not exacty turning heads, but I've got a fabulous husband that's attracted to me no matter what I look like. That suits me pretty well.
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